The night before I turn 18

Generally, I think a lot. Heck, even specifically I think a lot. Tonight, June 30th 2017, the night before I turn 18, my brain feels the way that the sun looks when it sneaks in and out of trees blowing in the wind.

FLASH FLASH WOOSH. ithurtsyoureyesbutyoujustkeeptryingtosee.

This hour and 17 minutes that I have left being a kid is special; it will never happen again and I’m glad I realized that before the clock strikes midnight.

So, I sink into my peppermint salted bath…drenching my hair in water, I drown everything but my nose. What I did next is what I do every time I’m in water: I became a mermaid. I lifted my neck just enough to clear the bottom of the ocean [bath] floor and waved my hair back and forth in slow motion the way flags ripple under invisible breaths.

I am alive. I have done so much and I have so much left to do. But right now, the things I’ve missed out on, the people who left, the mistakes I have made, the opportunities I haven’t received-it is all enough EXACTLY HOW IT IS.

Sometimes I forget to be proud of myself and I aspire to stop forgetting.

I have travelled to Boston, Chicago, Kansas City, St. Louis, California, Natick, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, North Carolina, New York, Florida, Georgia, and leave for my first International trip to Paris in only less than 20 days.

I have stayed up all night while laughing, crying, studying, working and creating.

I have hugged thousands of people.

I have done things that scare me and never once regretted it.

I have loved a friend.

I have loved a boy.

I have danced in the rain until I couldn’t drive home because my clothes were too wet.

I have shared my stories.

I have felt the love of the Creator of everything.

I have seen the power of Jesus.

I have lived through days only God could have carried me through.

I have worked my body until it collapsed.

I have screamed on top of mountains.

I have watched a sun set on a bike ride.

I have lived a beautiful life.

It is the night before I turn 18 and whatever I was, am, and might ever become is exceedingly and abundantly above all I could ask for. He promised me and I believe Him.

Grateful to be me.

Your new friend,