1. Say yes to (almost) everything!
Extrovert? Say yes. Introvert? Say YES. Hate bowling but are invited to bowl? Definitely go, my friend. There’s no way around it—this is hands down the best way you are going to set yourself up for both meeting new friends and finding new places.
As long as you don’t genuinely feel unsafe, push yourself HARD to have adventures instead of being curled up alone in your empty apartment. —Wow. That sounds great, actually, but EVEN SO— say yes to people. =)
2. Volunteer as soon as possible!
One of the best ways you can make friends is by being helpful and kind, so I highly suggest that you Google needs at churches, homeless shelters, hospitals, even animal shelters and commit to showing up and giving a hand. Even if it’s a “once-a-month” event, you’ll be glad to have a small community who is happy to see you AND you won’t regret giving your time to good causes.
3. Go to the cool stuff (even if you have to go alone)!
I’ve always had a great time rocking my plans solo, but now, more than ever, it’s often my only option. For example, if there’s a cool coffee shop that has a concert you’re interested in, ATTEND. If there’s a new movie out, SEE IT. If you like museums, GO TO ALL OF THEM. If you pass a restaurant that looks delicious, GET IN THERE. You’ll be surprised by how many people are doing the exact same thing and they just might say hi! But, seriously, throw insecurity out the window with this one. It’s so much better to be out doing the things you love than to be waiting for someone to invite you somewhere you might not even enjoy. When in doubt, just think of me probably sitting in a restaurant all alone somewhere with my feet on the booth across from me, ordering another round of tacos.
4. Find your hubs!
Not your husband—but places you’ll hang out often.
My very first week after moving to Atlanta, I found a Which Wich in a spot I really liked and decided to make it a weekly thing. Now the employees recognize me and ask me questions about my life and it genuinely makes my days better. You’re gonna want to find a version of whatever you like about the city you currently live in, so if that’s a good Music Venue, Golf Club, Library, etc—start visiting some as soon as possible and then be consistent! This goes for things like your Church, gym, grocery store, Target, Starbucks too-anywhere you find yourself going often. Just find your favorite one and stay there. It’ll make your new City feel so much more like “home” when you have safe spots that you can grow to love. It’s also an easy way to make a big place feel small.
5. Remember: You don’t have to be Soulmates with everyone you meet!
Friendships are going to be hard to find for most of us moving to a new city as adults. You might have expectations to leave all your enemies behind and find blossoming relationships the second you relocate, but more than likely, you’ll still find a few jerks. For the most part, people are nice, but you might not feel a real sense of connection-even with good people AND THATS OKAY. Keep hanging out with people who put in effort and bring light to your life, even if they’re not someone you’d invite to Christmas with the fam. With that said, you also don’t need to be hanging around people who bring you down just cause you promised yourself you’d be “social”.
So, pick and choose-but don’t be afraid to be alone for a night OR be with acquaintances for a night..neither of those are a bad thing while you keep searching for your people!
6. Look up events for people like you!
It’s really refreshing to share space with like-minded people and I was so shocked to see how many clubs, gatherings, and events go on for people with interests similar to mine! Again, go ahead and hit up google! For me, I searched for “Artistic events and clubs in Atlanta” or “college music events in Atlanta”…there’s more than likely something happening this very week, so gather up your courage and go. Make sure the location/organization looks legit of course, but so far, I’ve only had amazing experiences or worst casenario—funny memories. Sometimes, even if the event is less than awesome, you’ll meet people who might invite you to something better, so put in some real effort here!
7. Send letters to home!
For me, this has been something to truly bring me joy. Whether you literally write letters to your family or just to the people that you love the most no matter where they live, this helps you stay grounded and connected during a time where you might not feel much of either of those things. It always feels good to encourage people, but also, it will mean so much when you get a letter in return from people who really matter to you. That’s the kind of support you’ll need while you find your new footing.
8. Be the person you want to be!
You might find yourself starting to change in certain ways and I’d say to you: welcome that. But, really use this “reset” as a time to grow closer to the type of person you want to become. If you find yourself slipping out of good habits because of a new, crazy schedule, check back in with yourself and set your priorities straight again. You don’t want to waste this special opportunity taking steps backwards in the stuff that really counts, like: your FAITH, character, and mission in life.
On the flip side, your new atmosphere might inspire or bring some really healthy new interests, hobbies, relationships, or outlooks and I’ve learned to be gentle with myself and let go of the reigns a bit as I figure these things out. If you’re ever lost, go where you last felt sure. If that’s by calling your mom, sitting in church, going on a hike, praying, listening to music…don’t hesitate to seek out what you know you can trust and depend on. You’ll ask yourself a lot of questions while you’re on your own and I encourage you to always find those answers alongside people who love you, know you, and want the very best for your life.
Make good choices. Have fun. Be excellent to yourself and to others.
Your new friend,
Briellabelle
