U-turns.
Never in my life have I made as many as I have made in the past 30 days.
That’s how long i’ve been in Atlanta. 30 days.
I’m loving the adventure of having no idea where I am. This might all sound crazy to people who know how much I like to plan and strategize and be the most efficient, but I guess you could say I’m growing. haha!
When I have time (and I have a lot of time right now), I like to try to get to a destination without any directions: I leave my house, pick a road and continue to make choices that seem to be either familiar or hopeful until I know for sure I’m not doing myself any good. Only when I’m actually lost do I pull up a map. And I almost always have to. I have legitimately found myself 40 minutes off course more than once, and still, I regret nothing, because I got to see places the map didn’t tell me about.
I don’t know about you..But out of all the things I thought I came here to do, swerving my way around tight corners like a maniac was not on my list.
But maybe this is an important thing for me.
I didn’t realize before, but maybe I needed to notice more often when I was doing it wrong. And without shame, get back on track as soon as I found myself getting lost again.
I think I’m prone to pretending east is west. that empty things are full things. that hurting things are healthy things. and I could drive and drive. and drive and drive. because betting on a lie feels better than admitting I made a mistake. chose the wrong thing. trusted the wrong person. failed.
Maybe its time for some u-turns on the inside of me too.
In the midst of the spontaneity of it all, the second I know something is off in my heart, I need to care for myself enough to choose what I hadn’t before and be okay with the way I fell short of being perfect.
I just want to encourage you as I walk through this myself: Whether its been 10 minutes or 10 years running in the wrong direction, coming back is an option if you let it be. It is worth the dirty looks and the honks and the trouble. It is worth your time when it is towards your destiny.
1 month living in Atlanta has taught me that I am wrong often but through grace, guided home.
I guess all I’m trying to say is i. am. where. i. should. be. and God. is. not. finished. with. me. yet.
I love you guys.
Your new friend,
Briellabelle
