Yeah, yeah. I’m the girl who binge watches chick flicks, listens to hours of the “wedding songs” station on Pandora and then curls into her comforter on the couch and writes poetry about how love and wintertime somehow correlate…Relatable? Honestly, IM NOT EVEN THAT GIRL…but then again, that’s my Saturday night every few months once my stone cold heart against relationships softens to match the rest of me.
A true sensitive soul. A mushy mess.
I always hate admitting to that. Im supposed to be a tomboy, ya know. So, anyways, this isn’t my daily routine–I write the occasional love song here and there, but when I “fall in love” with the kid who makes my Starbucks, its not because I want to spend the rest our lives together, its cause its easy for me to see the good. Its easy for me to find love…in the world.
I’ll be honest and say, what gets me most about love stories in movies isn’t the charming lead dude or the idea of the one. For me, its what you catch a glimpse of in the actors eyes when he sees HIS girl, thinking to himself, “How the heck did I ever get her to look at me back?”.
I melt.
I’ve always had a real appreciation for the part when they can find someone and look at them with gazes that say, “I love you and the way you stare so seriously at sunrises with your sleepy eyes. I love the way you work till you’re ugly with passion, just giving all of yourself to the things you believe in. I love the way you swoop low just to look up at me and the times when you stand tall to lift me up to where I love standing the most…right by your side.”
I melt some more.
The idea that someday I could look at a man and say to myself, “How do you see me the way you do?”, is so sweet; Its sincerely beautiful to me. Cause, wow, we know how many things are wrong with us, how many flaws we have, and just how much of a hot mess we can be. “Those are the things your husband will love about you”, my dad always told me, reminding me that the things I’m embarrassed about, the little quirks that I feel insecure about..those will be the things.
Don’t worry, you, who is reading this: My dad has never been wrong before. But in the meantime, while I have all this life to live and dream about, I think I’ll fall in love with those things about me too.
Romance novels are lovely. Rom-com’s get me every time. Nicholas Sparks very much so hits the spot when you need that good cry. But, theres something so pure about finding it in yourself to keep falling in love with the life you DO have while you wait to fall in love with the man in the life you WILL have. Its all so much fuller that way-so much happier too.
Your new friend,
Briellabelle
